11 PM is Bed Time Now

As I sit here contentedly watching the RNC Convention (you know, for science) and staring at the cookies I just took out of my oven, I really have to take a good hard look at what my life has become.

It’s a funny thing to think about how ridiculously old that previous sentence sounds. Maybe not old (the RNC thing maybe a little), but at the very least it’s a bit more grown up than the activities I would have counted as enjoyable a mere few years ago.

You’re probably wanting examples. Well, I’ve started going to bed before midnight, waking up before the sun comes up, eating breakfast, watching the news, and having conversations on the phone that begin with “Aaron, your 10 o’clock is here.”

It feels very strange to me having all of this responsibility. It seems as though I was in a 4-year fugue state of late nights, fun, and junk food (college) and now here I am: in Grad School and studying Counseling, just like I wanted. It seems that way, but I know it wasn’t. The late nights were filled with homework, the fun was only when I didn’t have any homework (or could safely put it off), and the junk food was a reaction to the stress. I take all that for granted sometime. I worked my ass off to get to Grad School and now that I’m here, it’s all very surreal.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still immature in a myriad of ways, I just feel that pull towards growing into the responsibilities I have acquired. I’m working, interning, taking classes, and trying not to pull my hair out in the process. I’m starting to realize that adults don’t become adults by making a conscious effort to be stuffy or boring, they’re just trying to organize their life and their responsibilities without meeting criteria for a mental disorder.

How do you deal with the stress of the responsibilities you have acquired? (I think I’m going to do a blog on coping next)

An Old Tumblr Post from March

Here’s a post from my Tumblr from March 18, 2012. It’s old, but it showcases a bit of my journey so far. Happy reading! 

Here we are, March 18, 2012.

To say it’s been a wild year would be an understatement. It was almost exactly one year ago that I first came to visit Ball State University. To my small private Christian college brain visiting the school for the first time was an almost overwhelming experience: so many people, such a large campus, so very different than what I had come to know at Indiana Wesleyan.

Once that initial culture shock had passed I realized that Ball State, and Muncie as an extension, was mine to enjoy and experience. I have explored more, started (and quit) more jobs, and overall served the community in a more measurable way than I ever did in Marion. I am learning much about myself, my values, and my profession. So far, it has been an immensely challenging and rewarding experience.

As I think about where I was one year ago, I begin to smile the bittersweet smile of nostalgia. My IWU friends and I stay in contact, but they are on opposite sides of the Country (One in Redlands, CA, one in Austin, TX, and one in Virginia Beach, VA). We 2 Westers are quite a spread out group these days. Of course, missing friends is the sad part; the happy part is the new friendships I’ve been able to form.

I was a different person a year ago. When I look back, I cannot believe how much I have grown and changed; I thought I was too old for that stuff. I guess I’ll never be done learning, however, and I now realize that every section of life is an equal part of the journey. I cannot ignore my awkward formative high school years or my ‘forever alone’ junior high stage. My late high school metal band persona is no less important than my days as an Apple Store employee in college. The impulsive fun days of college with my 2 Westers have an equal share with my newly-developed professional life where people refer to me as “Mr. Mocherman.” When did that happen?

When did I get so old? Where has the time gone? It’s been very interesting to see the change in me and the way I live my life. I’m excited to see where it all ends up.

I hope you have enjoyed this small insight into my life at the moment. That’s all for now.

Question: When did you first realize you were an adult? What was it like?